Travis T’s Essential Album: Poison, “Look What The Cat Dragged In”

YO! What up? Travis T. here – that’s T as in “totally awesome Noise Pollution intern Travis!” Woot! Ain’t no party like a Travis party, cuz a Travis party don’t stop!

I got this job cuz I’m totally down with the metal. And to prove it, I’m gonna hit you up with the Greatest Metal Album of All Time, yo! Poison’s “Look What The Cat Dragged In!”

First off, just look at these hot babes on the cover!

I mean, woot! Man, that babe in the lower right (that’s the drummer, Rikki), is smokkin’, smokkin’! And lookit the hott mama at the top left – oooh, yea, that’s singer, Brett Michaels. I guess this album came out in 1986 or something? I wasn’t even born yet! I’ll bet all of these babes are probably like grandmas now. Yowza! Woot!

And these chicks can rock! I mean, check out the guitar riff on “Cry Tough!” Guitarist CC Deville is awesome, man! She’s totally sweep picking! I can’t sweep pick, and I’ve been playing guitar since I was 14 (I’m 16 now – ready to drive, Ma … although I hope she doesn’t read this, LOL). And those lyrics, WHOA! “You gotta Cry Tough, out on the streets, to make your dreams happen.” Or, “Sometimes a rainbow baby is better than a pot of gold.” I mean, gawd! That’s poetry. And CC must have made her fingers bleed on that guitar solo! Blazing! Woot!

I admit I’m a bit confused by “I Want Action.” From the lyrics, Brett Michaels is obviously singing about meeting girls. “Long legs and short skirts, these girls hit me where it hurts.” Uhhh, are the girls in Poison lesbians, or just playing a joke? Anyway, Rikki and bassist Bobbie Doll (ain’t she, though! Meow!) really rock, and CC SHREDS again. It’s totally awesome.

“I Won’t Forget You” is soooo moving! It’s all about missing a girl (or a man, if they were kidding on “I Want Action”). I can totally relate – I remember in 8th Grade when I was totally crushing on Becky Luundegaard and every time I had to go to P.E. and she went to biology I was sooo heart broken 😦  I won’t forget you, Becky! Even if you didn’t ask me to Santa Switch or Spring Fling or never responded to any of my e-mails or texts or notes I passed and even though you tore up all the pictures of me I pasted all over your locker! I know the only reason you took out that EPO is because your dad, mom and all the teachers at school told you to! Gawd, this song makes me cry!

But the album a rocker, not a weeper! “Talk Dirty To Me” has got this off-the-hook, phat riff and drumming that is exactly on time. Drummer Rikki knows how to beat her drums! This song’s all about the somthin’ somthin’, if you know what I mean. I’ll bet guys were lined up around the block at Poison shows! I wish I had a time machine! And oh gawd, that guitar solo at the end! CC can totally play a major scale!

All the other songs are great, too. “Play Dirty” is about how dangerous these Poison girls can be. They’ll cut ya with a blade, dude! “Want Some Need Some” is about … well, I don’t know, really. Want Some what? Anyway, “Look What The Cat Dragged In” is totally about partying and waking up late for school because you drank four Red Bulls during the all-night World Of Warcraft battle royale the night before. Whoa, been there, done that! I’m down, I can party and Warcraft with the best of them. Woot!

“Let Me Go To The Show” is total punk rock, with Rikki beating the H-E-L-L out of her drums while CC gets rifftastic and Brett sings her lungs out about stealing cars to go to the rock show. Man, I can’t wait until I’m 17, so I can go see great bands like Poison (if they’re not all in walkers and using artificial hips and whatnot).

Anyway, you GOTTA get “Look What The Cat Dragged In”! It’s awesome, so much better than the other crappy bands this site used to promote. Go out and buy two copies today! Woot Woot!

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